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| basically the attitude of every single nominee that lost to Sam Smith. |
Enjoy this year's milkyway fashion review of the Grammys!
This year, there wasn't a token Kiwi to celebrate, but there was someone who comes very close:
The Lorde lookalike award, and the Award for Unhappiest looking Wait Staff
While her face looks like Lorde, her outfit looks like it came from a cheesy American prom or wedding and was accidentally snapped collecting fur coats from the guests. Thankfully at the Grammys, cheesey prom attire is acceptable. More acceptable than being practically naked, which leads on to...
Award for Lousiest Use of Clothes
I have no idea who she is but her outfit has been best summed up by my friend Alessandra today:
When you forget to buy a dress but manage to source some sweet roadworks fencing at the last minute #GRAMMYs pic.twitter.com/LqX1zEUdov
— Alessandra Rachael (@AlessandraRach) February 9, 2015
Also added to the list of people I have never actually heard of, comes the award for Most Outstanding Melting Dress
Who to me looks a little bit like Katy Perry reincarnated as a red head, with a dress that looks like the combined electronics/fabrics class I took in year 8. It is as if the goal was to be to fuse a beautiful dress together with fabric and metal, but the soldering iron went astray and that's why it's half melted mess.
Meanwhile, a purposeful mess of hair made its way down the red carpet today too.
Award for Best Accessory
If you're thinking that Sia's hair was the best accessory at the Grammys, you're wrong. Sia's mini Sia is by far the best accessory. Because who else brings their creepy dancing kid with them wherever they go? But yes the hairstyle is pretty different too. Once, when I was nine, I crimped my own hair and my mum told me it made my face look fat. So it's nice to know that Mini Sia can pull off the crimped look.
Best Pant Suit
The fact that this category is becoming a regular thing this year is funny. Originally it was just an excuse to give Emma Stone an award but now all the good looking females are rocking a pantsuit. And I couldn't choose between these two. Anna's all daring with her low cut blazer and some killer heels, while Gwen is just classic Gwen - rock attitude and pulling off a top that others only wish they could wear.
The Saddest Reappearance on the Red Carpet
Remember when Paris Hilton was popular? Remember when she was worth a red carpet appearance? Seeing her on the red carpet is just a little sad. Keep holding on to whatever makes you famous nowadays Paris.
And while we're talking about trashy socialites.... The Most Expensive Looking Robe:
Because what's the fastest way to get naked so she can quickly break internets? Wearing a robe. I like how the most secure thing holding her dress together is one skinny belt and a probable set of small hook and eyes on the front of her dress. The rest is probably hairspray.
And while we're on the vague topic of hairspray - The Award for Pro-Nature on the Red Carpet:
Because why shouldn't we honour someone who looks ready to house baby birds in her little blonde braid nest?
The Deja Vu Award
I see you Ed wearing your classic blue vest and disheveled ginger hair. Again. (The exact same outfit he wore when he performed for Victoria's Secret recently).
Now, as we build into the best and worst dressed...
Worst Dressed Male - was a tie. Couldn't pick just one.
Frankie Grande for panting his suit with his hair, and not washing his hair out.
And Chris Brown because he spent the entire night with his top three buttons undone, for his clashing blue hair, and also because I don't like him. I hope you enjoyed Obama's domestic violence speech Chris.
And I should give out an award for Best Dressed Male, but Sam Smith has won so many awards today that it seems unfair to give him another award and hear another happy speech from him. You can't have every award Sam.
As for Best Dressed Female, there was definitely a theme when I was picking nominees.
Ciara - again, something I wouldn't normally pick (and it's another black outfit) but I'm just fascinated by the way this was crafted. The layers and layers of sheer and the shaping around it I find quite gorgeous.
And Anna Kendrick and Gwen Stefani for all the reasons previously stated.
But of course, if I have to pick one Best Dressed Female, you may as well pick the queen bee.
She just never fails. (Except when she lost Best Album to Sam Smith. Sam Smith every time...)
And of course, we have to finish with the Worst Dressed Nominees. And they were aplenty.
Rihanna - for wearing a oversized pink loofah.
Zendaya - because wearing a 80s shower curtain and putting a piece of ribbon around it does not mean it will become a good looking dress.
But you'd have to be crazy to not pick this person as winner of Worst Dressed Female
Madonna
Here's a list of short descriptions I've come up for this outfit:- Spanish Matador meets French Maid
- Fifty Shades of Grey: the Pirate Hooker Edition
- Lady Marmalade of South America
- El Cringeador in leather and lace
- Future Miley Cyrus
Please, no more Madonna.
When all else fails - at least there's the Lady Gaga award.
