mel in the milkyway: What is happiness?

currently: confessing

it's hard to admit when you are needing help.
I am one of those people that finds it hard to admit.
I'm the type of person that avoids crying, avoids the real emotional stuff because I know that I can't handle it well.
And when it comes to myself, I find it hard to admit when I've honestly been unhappy for the past few weeks.
I mean I'm not clinically depressed, I hope I'm not. It's just some events from the past few weeks have been making me go through all these negative stages of emotion. Emotions that I have not learnt to deal with, that I can't solve.

I go back to thinking about this time I was on a beach, talking with a friend. As we watched this seagull run away from the incoming waves, we talked for a moment about happiness. How can you achieve personal happiness within yourself? Without relying on material things, without relying on other people. To gain true natural happiness. I mean is that really possible?

In this moment of time, I will confess I feel in doubt of my beliefs, my goals and my future.
I can't remember feeling this in a long time.

What can I turn to when all I know is in question?